By Oritsegbubemi Peace Pessu
Ladies get so wrapped up in the whole “he should get me flowers, oh some chocolate, he should surprise me with gifts”, we want, want and want that we forget to give back to the men neglecting the fact that they want to be treated specially too.
Like women, men need to know you care, that you are appreciative and that you love them. Just as daily compliments and sweet kisses make us feel feminine and pretty, there are similar things we can do for our men to help validate their masculinity. The things we say and do mean much more than they lead us to believe. Seldom do men admit to their specific emotional needs but, in many ways, they want the same things. Your man wants to feel loved; he wants to feel attractive; he wants to feel capable and needed.
Meetings those needs doesn’t take a lot of money or require rocket science. As with all relationships, ultimately, it is the small (but far from minor) things that count. Has your man been down in the dumps? Or are you looking to keep his spirits high? Here are a few tips for helping your man feel like the man he is:
- Compliments:- We all know how great we feel when a man pays us a sincere compliment, so letting your man know that you love his style or the way he walks will make him feel 12 feet tall! Choose something specific, and maybe unexpected, that you find attractive about him, and let him know in a genuine way that you only have eyes for him.
- Make him feel needed:- I’m not suggesting you nag him to death or bog him down with chores, but find ways to let him know you need him by asking him for his help or his advice every once in a while. Men are great problem solvers, and they truly want to help the woman they love through their challenges. The reason most men shy away from “independent” women is because they sometimes send a message that they don’t “need” a man. But being self-sufficient doesn’t mean the men in our lives serve no purpose, so let him be the man and thank him for all that he does on a daily basis.
- Be concerned about his job and praise his accomplishments:- Most men take pride in their career and place a certain value on the level of success they’ve achieved. In most cases, men tie success directly to their manhood, and their work gives them a sense of purpose. If they share their achievements with you, it’s because they want to impress you, and show you that they are capable of providing a future for you both – so acknowledge that! Be his biggest cheerleader and give him the admiration and respect he seeks and deserves – the returns will be tenfold.
- Cater to him sometimes:- If your man has been hard at work or stressed out, rub his neck or give him a nice massage. Draw him a bath or prepare a nice meal for him. Even if you aren’t much of the “domestic” type, catering to your man can simply mean not crowding him as soon as he walks in the door, giving him time to unwind before you launch into a speech about how your day was or what needs to get done around the house. Sometimes realizing that he wants you there, but that he doesn’t feel like talking, is all the catering you need to do. So hand him the remote, let him kick his feet up and be quiet. When he’s ready to talk, ask him how his day was…and listen.
- Let the small stuff roll:- Not everything in a relationship needs to be over analyzed or beaten down into the ground. So if he unintentionally offends you, let it go.. Focus on what he does right instead of harping on everything he does wrong. Chances are he really doesn’t know why you’re upset or what he did wrong – and we know that. Just let it go.
- Brag about him to your friends:- Men love this. Giving him compliments privately is a wonderful thing, but letting the world know how great your man is will having him blushing and wondering how he got so lucky to have a woman like you. Even when he’s not around, let others know what you love and appreciate about your boo. It sets the tone for mutual respect, love and admiration as he will do the same for you unconsciously. It’s easy for us to get complacent in our relationships, so doing a little boasting about your man every once in a while can serve as a reminder of why you love him and just how important he is to you.
So there it is! We know that behind the machismo, abs and muscles is a soft spot and so, always bearing in mind that “The male ego is a fragile one”, give him a special treat too because he’s worth it! Make him feel like the man that he is.