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7 Things You Should Know About Your Husband’s Mistress

A Man and his Mistress

Photo Credit: AskMen

You’re probably reading this out of sheer curiosity. Otherwise, you are convinced that your husband, who you hardly see as much of as you used to, does have a mistress. He’s not a loose man, not at all the womanizing type, which actually makes this worse, because a fling or a passing fancy would have been less worrisome. It’s the seeming concreteness of their relationship that worries you- the fact that she is more than just a plaything.

What does she have that you don’t? After all, you are his wife, the one who laboured with him and stood by him when he had nothing, the mother of his children. What is it about her anyway? Let’s have a look, shall we?

1. She treats him like she’s “not his wife”

To put it plainly, she makes deliberate effort to be the opposite of you, or who and what she perceives you to be. She is perceptive and able to pick up on those things that make him reluctant to spend time with you, and then she refrains from doing and being those things. You may say, “But she’s a woman, surely she nags him too!” No. She feels tempted to nag him of course, but she reins it in and sends him home to YOU for that.

2. She’s listening, you’re talking

A man needs a woman who will listen to him. This is especially true for older men. When he comes home, the last thing he needs is a woman talking his ear off. However, you have a lot of things to say, and he just has to listen. And men don’t really talk much, so why are we telling you this nonsense?

Because, dear wife, hubby does have a lot to say. The only difference is that he’s not going to just start yapping. The atmosphere has to be right, and his woman has to gently, warmly draw it out of him. His mistress has this art down to a T.

3. She’s willing to go “there” sexually.

You don’t want to discuss your husband’s desires and fantasies because you just know you won’t be involved in “such”, best not to go down that road. He should be satisfied with the standard fare you supply regularly. After all, you are a lady, and you insist on being one at all times, including in bed. “Those activities” are for sluts. Besides, you have gingivitis, can’t risk having cancer of the mouth, etc. We totally understand you. While you’re busy keeping your hands and mouth to yourself, please be informed that whereas prim and proper is cute in public, it doesn’t do much for most men in bed.

4. She’s not overworked

Somehow, you find you’re so busy with all the things you have to do every day, balancing the different hats you have to wear, that you’re always exhausted when your husband comes home. You manage to dish his food and serve it to him, or ask the help to do it… Again, we understand; it’s not easy to be a wife and mother. That’s what domestic help are there for though, to ease the burden- even the Proverbs 31 woman had more than one. But we digress.

Your husband’s mistress makes him her priority, ensuring that she’s never too tired for him. She always has enough energy to fall over backwards to please him and treat him like a King. She lavishes compliments, seeks his counsel, and makes sure his food is ready before he’s hungry.

Did you know that when he eats at hers, she sits by looking lovingly at him as he wolfs down the food she lovingly prepared with her own hands, touching his face and rubbing his head. He gives her a forkful or two and she eats like he added something extra to it. The meal is washed down with pecks and kisses… Who has time for that? Not you, please. There’s a reason everyone knows it’s only the other woman who behaves like that. You have an actual life to live, for Pete’s sake!

5. She keeps herself up.

Are you the same woman he fell in love with, the one he was irresistibly attracted to? Or do you now have on granny panties, chipped nail polish and a perpetual hairnet? Your husband’s mistress pays attention to her appearance. Whether she’ll be seeing him or not, she always has his favourite underwear on. Her hair is lush and healthy, her fragrance inviting…need we go on?

6. She makes sure they are building memories

Of course they quarrel- all lovers do- but when he remembers her, it’s the fun times he remembers. She makes sure of it. The picnics, getaways and mini-vacations, the back rubs and massages, the meals shared at first-class restaurants, the evenings spent listening to music and talking sweet nothings, they’re all part of her plan to make sure that in his mind, she is primarily associated with pleasure. What memories flood his mind when he thinks of you?

7.  She honours him

This, actually, is number one. The one thing men crave more than love is respect. This is not an easy thing to do; that’s why the Bible repeatedly exhorts, “Wives, respect your husbands.” Unfortunately, the average woman is not socialized to respect her man; she’s usually thinking about loving him. She’s also conscious of her status as an equal partner, and balks at any action that suggests otherwise.

Your husband’s mistress is not the average woman. She’s a woman who knows on which side her bread is buttered. She is fully aware of the relationship between his wellbeing and hers. So while you’re busy striving to assert your independence, eager to prove that you’re more than property, she is busy deferring to him, adoring him, and calling him the owner of her head. Will she keep this up if she somehow manages to become his wife? Probably not, but he doesn’t care. It intoxicates him right now, and that’s that.

So there you are. What you decide to do with this information is entirely up to you; we just thought that you should know.

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Joy Ehonwa

Joy Ehonwa is an editor and a writer who is passionate about relationships and personal development. She runs Pinpoint Creatives, a proofreading, editing, transcription and ghostwriting service. Email: pinpointcreatives [at]



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