“You are the reason, you are the reason I wake up every day, sleep through the night, you are the reason, the reeeeeeaaaaason!”
Music is not only about amazing pipes, it is also about singing some of the most moving song lyrics ever written; the direction you are being moved in doesn’t matter, as long as the music sounds great, no? Just look at those words above, and marvel at their depth and beauty.
When you meet a man and he is interested in you (or you’re interested in him), you need to let him know you are really desperate for him to marry you. Let me show you how:
1. Chase him: It doesn’t matter whether he shows interest in you or not. If he isn’t interested, it’s your job to make him interested. Know where he’s going to be, arrange to be there, and make sure he sees you. Perfect the art of bumping into him everywhere. He will understand what the Universe is trying to tell him. Buy him gifts. When you’re buying phone credit, buy for him too. Show him your love. If he insists on not seeing the light, spell it out to him yourself. Tell him, tell him that the sun and moon rise in his eyes, reach out to him…love will be the gift you give yourself!
2. Make it clear you have nothing to do with your time: If you’re trying to get a man, you must never be too busy for him! Immediately he asks you out, say yes and cancel your other plans. Always make sure he’s the one to end every phone call, never you. Be available every time he asks to see you or invites you to his house. Better still, make a habit of “surprising” him by showing up at his place uninvited.
3. Let him know you’re not accountable to anyone: When you start talking with him, don’t waste time, let him know that you’re a big girl and you’re accountable to nobody; not your parents, godparents or priest. Let him know that your family members’ opinions don’t count. If possible, tell him all the things your dad did to your mother and vice versa, and let him know that they don’t mean much to you. This is how you show that you’re really ready to “leave and cleave” in marriage.
4. Play wife: Look, you need to show him what a good wife you can be. He hasn’t made any commitment to you, but you must stop going on dates with other people, regardless. Ignore all those guys trying to get your attention. Be focused; this is the one you want. Be ever present in his house, cleaning, cooking and washing for him. Give him sex- plenty of it. Your mantra and lifestyle must be “I’ve got your slippers, your dinner, your dessert and so much more, anything you want, just let me cater to you.” He got another girl pregnant? You must travel to his base immediately and try to cement your position; do this with patience and endurance, even if he doesn’t pay attention to you, or he sleeps in the bedroom with the girl while you sleep in the living room. This is how good wives behave. This is how you get ahead in this race for a husband. Act it, become it!
5. Have “the talk” with him: If you’ve been following the tips mentioned above, by now you must be noticing signs of progress; he’s very relaxed and comfortable with you and the current arrangement (see 4 above) and he’s making no move to propose. You’ve done your homework, bringing up the “M” word several times, talking about your future kids…still no dice. At this point, you must say to him, “we need to talk.” Proceed to ask him, “Where is this relationship going?” and also if you can, get pregnant for him so that he can marry you.
6. Announce your success: Now that he has refused to marry you, or worse still has married a girl he met 6 months ago who doesn’t even worship him like you do and has never washed his boxers, it is time for you to go on Linda Ikeji’s blog or Aunty Amara’s Facebook Page and ask for readers’ ‘advice’ on how to handle the disappointment. Remember to ask them not to judge you.
What? You don’t think this is a good idea? You have to do all this, because even if you’re a warm, kind, caring, smart woman with great potential for success and leadership, a promising career, loyal friends and a tightknit family, you have nothing, nothing, NOTHING, if you don’t have hiiiiiiiiim!
About the author: Joy Ehonwa is a writer, editor and online proofreader who is passionate about relationships and personal development. She runs Pinpoint Creatives, a copy-editing, ghostwriting and transcription business, and blogs at www.anafricandiva.wordpress.com and www.girlaware.wordpress.com