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Fun Friday: 45 Things You Will Be Judged For as a Nigerian Mother

Have you ever walked on the street and heard a stranger call out to you, saying that your toddler should stop sucking her thumb? Or you have that neighbour who constantly gives a lecture about how extended exclusive breastfeeding will affect a child’s development?

Fellow moms, older generation parents, strangers and the whole society always have a thing or two to say about your parenting choices as long as it doesn’t fit their description of a perfect mum. A lot of times these issues are just a by-product of cultural and religious bias, and while it doesn’t happen to everyone, it is too common, can be funny and oh-so-annoying.

I read an article once about things mums all over are usually judged for, and thought to put a Nigerian spin on it. Have a good laugh if any of these has ever happened to you, and remember that your style of parenting is a personal choice. You, not the society, decides what’s best for your family.

  1. Having more girls than boys
  2. Not having a son at all
  3. Having too many kids
  4. Having just one child
  5. Married early
  6. Married late
  7. Being a stay-at-home Mom
  8. Having a time-consuming career
  9. Working from home
  10. Not spacing your children
  11. Too much spacing
  12. Getting pregnant before marriage
  13. Unplanned pregnancy
  14. Having a C-Section
  15. Fat post-baby body
  16. Using a pacifier
  17. Wearing a baby on your chest instead of with a wrapper on your back
  18. Not breastfeeding at all
  19. Exclusive breastfeeding
  20. Scheduled feeding, a.k.a not popping a breast in her mouth as soon as she starts crying.
  21. Breastfeeding a walking toddler
  22. A thumb-sucking child (If you fed her enough, she wouldn’t suck her thumb)
  23. Having a skinny child
  24. Being the home’s breadwinner
  25. Hate cooking
  26. Suck at house chores
  27. Lazy
  28. Getting a divorce because you were cheated on
  29. Not getting a divorce from a serial cheater
  30. Being a single mother by choice
  31. Not letting your kids watch TV
  32. Too much TV
  33. Not having domestic help
  34. Having a lot of domestic workers
  35. Being too religious (did you really wear a head scarf for an infant?)
  36. Too strict
  37. Homeschooling your kids
  38. Not immunizing your kids
  39. Self-confessed sex lover
  40. Being older than your spouse
  41. Not taking up your husband’s surname after marriage
  42. Calling your husband by name
  43. Spanking your kids
  44. Not spanking them (That’s why they are such a lawless bunch)
  45. Feeding your family on takeout food, even if it’s just once.

About the author: Amina Salau is a writer and editor running The Illuminated Pen. You can find her online at www.theilluminatedpen.com  and on Twitter (@_Aminah)

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