Sometimes, we take self-love and self-care for granted. We get caught up with taking care of other people and other things, without pausing to take care of our own selves.
This goes beyond hair, skin, nails, diet or weight. When was the last time you took care of your spirit and your soul?
That new best friend, who will come into your life and help the new you emerge, is you. If you have ever been in the habit of talking to yourself, you’re already aware that there’s more than one “you” inside. This is why you can ruminate over things and even “calm yourself down.” It’s more than just “one mind” telling you stuff, as we say in Nigeria.
Once you become aware of the BFF within, who’s known you longer, and knows you better, than any “external friend” ever could, you can begin to tap into that friendship and emerge a better, stronger person.
Once you become aware, your relationship will progress beyond “calm down, just calm down” and “you know you really should get out of bed now sha” to actually nurturing a better you, and filling your life with more love and light.
You play the good friend to others often. Why not do it for yourself? You sit done and listen empathetically to others. Why not sit yourself down with yourself and talk things over?
Self-dialogue changed my life. I learnt it from a father figure nearly a decade ago. I learnt that it is more than the soliloquy that has always been a part of me; it is a serious, honest and even cathartic dialogue that leads to increased clarity, confidence and focus. We talk all the time, but the talking that really brings on the change we seek is the one we do with ourselves. The woman with the issue of blood in the Bible also talked to herself. She assessed her situation, dialogued with herself and went for what she wanted.
Even the Biblical prodigal son, who collected and wasted his inheritance, while his dad was still living did it. We saw how he “came to himself, and said to himself…” and as he talked to himself, and reasoned with himself, his solution came, and even turned out better than he could have imagined!
This kind of conversation with oneself is more than the soliloquy that many of us are used to; it is more deliberate and authentic, and much more productive.
The times that I’ve stopped doing it, I’ve felt the loss of that best friend and the wonderful influence she had on me. Once we resumed talking again I would almost immediately be reminded of all that is beautiful and brilliant about me, and how capable I am of making the right choices.
We talk all the time, but the talking that really brings on the change we seek is the one we do with ourselves.
Be your own best friend. Delight in your happiness. Care about what is happening to you. Enjoy your own company, you’re amazing! Tell yourself the truth. If you’re headed for trouble, warn yourself! Haha, turns out those Warri guys were on to something, right?
Be your own best friend. It’s the best preparation for sharing your light and love with the world.
Featured Image Credit: TurboTax