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Pidgin English

Naija Voice: This Marriage of a Thing Dey Fear You?

E suppose fear you o. The thing risky no be small.

I remember one time wey dem ask one oyibo pikin who e go marry. E say e go marry im mama.

Dem tell am say no o, person no fit marry im own mama o. The boy come say okay, e go marry im sister. Dem say no o, person no dey marry sister o. Person no fit marry person from im own family o.

The pikin shock. E no fit believe am. So, person go just marry person wey e no know before? Na so una dey do am? The pikin begin cry.

You fit blame am? Sometimes I dey look my husband, and e dey surprise me say I meet person wey I no know before, come marry am. ‎Marry o, no be any temporary thing or trial and error o. Just meet person for Lagos, love am, go registry go swear say na you and the person go dey together forever. The thing na wa.

I remember when my husband broda marry. Body sweet me no be small. People wey know me know say na so love dey totori me.

When I see two people wey love each other dey marry, I dey like to look them. This my new sister-in-law, love sweet am well well. Before pastor ask question finish, she don answer “I will” ah ahn! Everybody just dey laugh for church.

I no know why, but as I dey look the new wife, my chest come dey pain me one kind.

‎I come dey wonder weda she know as marriage be, whether she don ready herself well well. The truth be say, no matter the kind marriage class wey person attend before e marry, no matter how you study other people marriage reach, your own go still shock you. Na so e just be.

To teach person how to be husband or wife when dem never marry, be like when you wan teach person how to drive, but motor no dey. You fit talk from now till tomorrow, the person no go really understand until e enter.

As I dey look my new sister-in-law that day of their wedding, I wan hug am. I wan tell am:

Sister, this my husband broda wey you dey marry na beta man, na correct bobo, na wondafu guy and e love you no be small, but e go disappoint you one day. Any man wey you marry, go disappoint you one time one time. When dat time come, if you fit bear am, na dat time love start.

The butterfly dem wey dey your belle now, all of dem go fly comot.‎ If you no follow dem fly, na dat time you go begin learn wetin wife be.

If your mouth dey sharp for other people marriage before, you go come dey quiet small small. You go come dey understand plenty tins wey dey wonder you before for this wife matter.‎

Why dat woman go comot for her marriage?!

How dat woman go stay for dat her marriage?!

How woman go dey hide something from her husband?!

How woman go carry her hand kill her own husband?!

I no talk say any of these things go happen to you o. I just talk say you go understand. If your mouth sharp before e no go sharp again. If your shoulder dey high since, e go come down.

My sister, you go come know say all marriage no be the same. As day dey break, two of una go dey learn how to paddle una canoe. Una go try different things, and una go come see the one wey go work for una. E no go resemble anybody own. E no go even be as people go want make e be. But you go see say dat one na their tolo. Una marriage and how una dey do am, na una business.

My sister, marriage dey sweet o. Sometimes, e go sweet you sotaaay e go be like say all this things wey I dey talk na lie, say people too dey like to make person fear anyhow, for nothing.

Then one day, that number one thing wey I first talk go happen…

When e happen, if you dey find person wey go pet you sorry, you get my number. Call me, you hear?

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Joy Ehonwa

Joy Ehonwa is an editor and a writer who is passionate about relationships and personal development. She runs Pinpoint Creatives, a proofreading, editing, transcription and ghostwriting service. Email: pinpointcreatives [at] yahoo.com

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  1. Pingback: Naija Voice: This Marriage of a Thing Dey Fear You? – anafricandiva

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