Myths are widely held beliefs or ideas that are false. They can be harmless, and even funny, but when it comes to marriage they can be downright dangerous. If any of these myths are holding you back from living your best life, it’s time to trash them:
1. Don’t involve a third party in your marriage:
This one definitely needs to die. It’s been used to manipulate many victims of emotional, verbal and physical abuse. And it has kept many couples from finding solutions that could have made a difference in their rough patches. Of course, it’s foolish to go around telling everyone your marital challenges, and there certainly are people who will make things worse if you tell them. However, many have been saved by seeking PROFESSIONAL help from a trained counselor. You don’t have to endure a miserable marriage or die in silence. Ask for help.
2. If it’s bad now, it can only get worse:
I remember running into the wonderful couple in charge of the marriage department in my church a few years into our marriage. We had just come out of the early phase where we weren’t sure we would make it and started to really enjoy ourselves.
“How are you, Joy?” the wife asked.
“I’m very well, thank you, ma’am.”
“And how’s marriage?”
“It’s great now!” I said cheerily.
“Awesome! It gets better, you know?”
Well, well, well! Why didn’t anyone tell me before? It would have given me comfort. That things are rough now doesn’t mean they will always be. The coming together of two unique individuals is seldom without its challenges. However, when both of them are sincere about doing what it takes to make a marriage beautiful, regardless of how different their personalities are and how much they have to learn and unlearn, it really does get better.
3. People don’t change:
That’s not true. They do. The person you are now is not who you will be in ten, twenty, thirty years. Your spouse won’t remain the same either. Sure, the essence of a person, who they are at the core, always remains, but you will grow and change and your partner will do same. So, you both can actually make this work in your favor. The key is to try as much as possible to grow together. Instead of doing your own thing all the time, carry each other along and share experiences. The default is to grow apart, so you need to be deliberate about this.
4. Marriage is a do or die thing:
This particular myth has been around for a while. Being married is beautiful, and you certainly should honor the vows you made, but if that marriage is killing you, you serve nobody by remaining in it. Fulfilling the purpose for which you were placed on earth is more important, and you need to be alive and well to do that.
5. Sex is a purely physical act.
This is one huge myth that the porn culture helps perpetuate. Sex is as much about whom you’re having it with as it is about what they’re doing to your body, and this is especially true when you’re married to one person and having sex only with that person. All the sex toys in the world can’t help your marriage if you’re not connecting in a satisfying way emotionally, intellectually and spiritually, in the bedroom and out.
Trade the myths for truth. It’s a better way to live.