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Relationships

Cheating and its Dangerous Minions

When some romantics heard the news of the breakup of the 25-year-old marriage of the world’s richest man, Jeff Bezos, and his wife, Mackenzie, their trust in love was shaken to its foundation. Admirers of the ex-couple wondered what their own fate in the journey of romance would turn out to be. Even then, a new twist to the development that Jeff Bezos might have been in an affair before the separation with his wife, brought a new angle to the story. Thus, reactions followed as to what evil cheating can really do in monogamous unions.

The way people react to cheating varies as much as people find unique and ingenious ways to cheat. For many partners, their dislike for cheating partners is not so much the act of infidelity as it is the fact that a sexual relationship was hacked and engineered behind their back. Some hardly get over that backstabbing; hence they lose faith in their partners. They believe one could as well plot their own death if one finds it necessary. Some others do not get bothered at all about cheating as long as long as their other needs in the relationship are met. Some find cheating easy to forgive. The most damning, however, are those who get lost in the core of cheating and leave their partners; especially individuals who have exchanged marital vows.

In the scriptures, when Jesus was asked about the philosophy of indulgence and sin, he answered that once a mind has conceived or fantasized about a sinful act, it has committed that sin altogether. This analogy seems very apt when thinking about how the circumstances surrounding cheating starts from the little flirtations and distractions. This takes us back to the question of whether the human mind and body are really monogamous or we just thought civilization has bestowed on us a better doctrine of one man to one wife.

How many people find themselves wanting one single thing the whole of their lives? Will they not get bored or tire of it especially if circumstances surrounding the two partners in a monogamous union change very often?

The acts leading to cheating are myriad. There has always been the controversy of whether cheating is actually having coitus with someone else or it is inclusive of all actions leading to it. But sexual relations hardly ever happen without a buildup of actions or suggestions. Even though many people chose to have different definitions of what it really is, so as to make themselves comfortable in their indulgences, most of us will agree that cheating is a summation of all romantic gestures or actions which a partner or the public consciousness in a monogamous setting would not approve of. We could even add that cheating includes unfaithful actions which have only been thought about and not yet acted.

Cheating could be as varied as a romantic flirtation with someone else, sexting, uttering sexual innuendos, or wanting the company of others more than a partner’s. It is these minions of cheating, which could run into hundreds of indulging actions, that are more dangerous than the actual commitment of the act.

All these, however, bother the curiosity; is anyone really prone to cheating, whether intrinsically or extrinsically? It now appears love alone is not enough to keep partners in a union. Could it be that the heart, mind and soul get bored of a partner after a time lapse? Could it be that we need new workable types of union which would fit the demands and realities of this technological age and our globalised world? Are open marriages, open relationships and occasional cheating the answer for a tired heart to seek adventure and rejuvenation from?

We would achieve a lot on the subject of relationships by acknowledging that cheating and the accompanying baggage which leads to it are one enemy which threatens to tear up the trust we once had in the concept of unfailing and unconditional love.

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Adedoyin Tella

Adedoyin is mostly a farmer in the day who also dabbles into technology at night, in search of other cutting edge intersections. He's on Twitter @i_fix_you

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