Healthy as it may seem, it simply doesn’t feel right fighting in a relationship. Even worse, it can be very unhealthy and utterly destructive in the long-run. More often than not, it’s our very own characters that create issues in relationships.
Discover the sort of battles couples encounter, and figure out just how to avoid them.
The Poisonous Tongue
Is it safe to say that you are the sort of individual who can’t remain calm when they blow up? You would prefer truly not to get into a fight, yet you let all hell loose when you’re upset. For you, at such times, your tongue can be compared to that of a venomous snake. Even worse it is, for the working class man or woman, who is tormented by blame, day in and day out, for not having the option to have quality time with their life partner and family, which would just make the emotion erupt all the more fiercely.
How To Deal With It
Attempting to make sense of what makes you go absolutely crazy will go a long way in helping to abstain from fighting in a relationship. You must understand that you’re only human and a happy relationship is better than a clean house. Stop for a moment to chat with your partner and try to make sense of what’s making you so edgy, and the reasons for your frustrations. Tell your partner what you don’t like, and whenever an episode reoccurs, calm yourself before you utter a word.
It could be the work load at the office, or the strain of your responsibilities at home. It is important to discover what your partner does, that gets the veins on your temple throbbing. In case you’re treating your partner like a trash bag, throwing all your trash at them, then it’s about time to sort things out. Amend your ways before it goes past the point of no return, and your partner begins to avoid you, or maybe even walk.
The Grudge Keeper
Fighting in relationships often begins as a result of all the implosive displeasures that you’ve been holding inside yourself. You’re the sort who will give unimportant things a chance to develop inside you until it turns into a tree of prejudice. The offense, for you, has become enormous out of insignificant issues. And one beautiful day, you shed the leaves of the huge, awful intolerant tree in one snap of anger. You peak and respond in mono syllable, displaying signs of coldness and disinterest way longer than the fighting ought to have lasted.
By sustaining resentment and holding on to anger, you hurt for far longer than you really need to. Your behavior will only make the situation worse.
How To Deal With It
Try not to leave issues unattended to. In the event that you need to abstain from fighting in a relationship, you ought to speak with your mate about what precisely irritates you. It is you who’s giving the little things a chance to bother the foundation of your relationship. People are not mind-readers and so if you really need your relationship to develop into a sound one, build up your relational skills and quit holding in feelings of resentment.
All your past feelings of hatred start to float once more into your brain once your voice ascends to a crescendo. What’s more, you make a Molotov cocktail of all your purported past hurt and resentments, merge it with the present ones, and throw it all at their face.
Imagine a scenario where your partner also tosses one back at you, by digging into your past and unearthing unpleasant memories. That would simply be unacceptable, wouldn’t it? Not to mention that it is unquestionably wrong. So why would you want your partner to raise some tiny subtleties of your stale weaknesses? Except if you need a stalemate of words, desist from raking old issues with your partner.
How To Deal With It
When next you feel the urge to go digging into the past, think about the impact it would have on you if you were in your partner’s shoes. So rather than piling your anger and throwing it at your partner, sit down and talk about the issues.
You are in no way under any pressure to sort out every single one of your relationship issues all at the same time. Dealing with them one after another is just fine.
Featured Image Source: Fatherhood Channel
My name is Louis Anani and I am also known by friends as L.A Inspire. I am a digital content developer, realtor, inspirational storyteller, youth speaker and podcaster. I love to teach, council and help youngsters find a path in life when they feel empty and lost. And though solving the world’s problems is somewhat impossible, I believe doing one act of kindness to one person every day is a great start.