Lagos is a truly chaotic city but millions have made it their home. There are many things that make it unique, however, asides the noise and chaos. One of them is the yellow/black striped danfo buses that dominate the roads and these buses are responsible for transporting the most amount of persons by far on a daily basis as the government-sanctioned Bus Rapid Transit (BRT) is not nearly adequate for the huge number of commuters Lagos supports.
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I am not one to romanticize hardship but there are experiences that are only unique to the danfo that I find truly funny, so laugh as I give my perspective. Here are certain types of people you will likely find if danfo is your daily reality.
Those Who Go Into The Bus With #1000 For #50 Trip
Sometimes conductors are not always at fault, you know. You must sometimes tell yourself that you actually like ‘wahala’. If not why would you do that?
Those That Always Want You To Shift
“Please shift”. Like where am I shifting to?
Those Who Never Know Where They Are Going To
They are always shouting their bus-stop to the driver. Can you blame them? Some of these drivers will take you where they like if you don’t shout.
Those Who Like To Tell The Driver Which Road To Follow
Do you see those people that run to sit in front? Fear them. They will point the driver on the shortcut to follow and when LASTMA blocks your bus, they will be the first to collect their change and exit. Even the devil avoids them.
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The Ones Who Just Want To Sleep
These ones wake up every bus-stop and ask “we don reach?”. Bros, don’t you have eyes? Even more annoying is when they start explaining why they are sleeping to you. “Can you believe I have not slept since yesterday? This Lagos is tough o”. Why are you telling me?
The Complaint Merchants
The driver speeds up, they will say “Driver, easy o. No be goat dey your moto, na human being”. The driver slows down, they will say “Shey na like this we go reach where we dey go? See even bus wey leave for bus-stop don pass us. Which kain driver be dis one sef?” Formula 1 champion! Maybe you will come and drive.
The Change Advocates
“Conductor, my change o” like it was a radio jingle. Ask them how much it is, you will hear fifty Naira.
Women With Children
I know how many children my mother had… Which is why I do not understand why you will tell me with all my problems “My brother, help me lap this one. Na you pikin o”. Do I know you?
The Job Seekers
These ones will shout when the driver is picking up other passengers “I am running late o. I have an interview at 9 am”. And the time 8:40 am. My brother, that job is not for you oh. Forget it.
The Fine Sisters Who Are Going To Meet ‘Client’
Ordinary “sister, please shift”, they will give that wicked look. With all the money you are making from ‘clients’, shouldn’t you have your own car?
So Lagos is an experience all by itself and the danfo experience is one aspect of it. You could suggest other types of danfo personalities I may have missed in the comment section. Stay blessed!
Featured Image Source: Sassy Funke
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